Music Video
(Hey Nate, how's life? He is imitating a conversation.)
I don't know it's alright
I've been dealin' with some things like every human being
And really didn't sleep much last night
I'm sorry
That's fine
I just think I need a little me time
I just think I need a little free time
Little break from the shows and the bus rides
Last year I had a breakdown
(Thoughts tellin me I'm lost gettin too loud Self hating thoughts.)
Had to see a therapist then I found out
(Somethin' funny's going on up in my house House means brain)
Yeah started thinkin' maybe I should move out
(You know pack my cart take a new route I believe that new route is not very literal and implies he is going to take a new path in life and is a metaphor.)
Clean up my yard get the noose out
Hang up my heart let it air out
I've been searchin'
What does that mean, Nate? I've been learnin'
(Grabbin' my keepsakes Again, I think this is not to be taken literally I think it implies he is going to attempt to change himself and “keepsakes” refer to the positive qualities he possesses.)
Leavin' my burdens
(Well I brought a few with me I'm not perfect He is attempting to forget his demons but he can’t completely.)
(Lookin' at the view like this concerns me I think the “view” could refer to how he is trying to change and the progress he has made could be considered concerning.
Pickin' up the cues right? I'm quite nervous
Hate it when I lose sight life gets blurry
And things might hurt me
It's prolly gonna be a long journey but hey!
It's worth it though
Cold world out there kids grab your coats
Been a minute I know now I'm back to roam
Looking for the antidote
To crack the code
Pretty vivid I admit it I'm in classic mode
Don't need pity given to me, but I can't condone
Talkin' down to me I'mma have to crack your nose
For crackin' jokes
I'm lookin' for the map to hope
You seen it?
Been makin a whole lot of changes
Wrote a song about that you should play it
I get scared when I walk on these stages
I look at the crowd and see so many faces
Yeah
That's when I start to get anxious
That's when my thoughts can be dangerous
That's when I put on my makeup
And drown in self-hatred forget what I'm sayin an ...
Where the beat go?
Ohh
Ain't that somethin'
Drums came in you ain't see that comin'
Hands on my head can't tell me nothin'
(Gotta taste of the fame had to pump my stomach The fame was getting to much for him and he felt it was to much)
(Throw it back up like I don't want it He is saying he doesn’t want his fame)
Wipe my face clean off my vomit
OCD tryna push my buttons
I said don't touch it
(Now y'all done it If something isn’t a certain way sometimes someone with OCD can experience great anxiety)
I can be critical
Never typical
Intricate with every syllable
I'm a criminal
Intimate but never political
(Pretty visual I think here he is saying how he paints a pictures with his songs which I think he does)
(Even if you hate it I make you feel like you're in it though He is saying that even if you don’t like his song he still provides an immersive experience nonetheless)
(You call me what you wanna but never call me forgettable No matter if you like his songs or not they are memorable)
Leave you deep in thought I could never swim in the kiddy pool
Way that I be thinkin' is cinematic it's beautiful
(Man I don't know if I'm makin' movies or music videos (Videos) He makes very memorable and very artistic music videos)
(The sales can rise
Doesn't mean much though when your health declines He is saying that the money doesn’t mean anything if his health isn’t in good shape)
(See we've all got somethin' that we've trapped inside
That we try to suffocate you know hoping it dies
Try to hold it under water
But it always survives
Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise
Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies
You don't relate to that, must not be as crazy I am He is referring to anxiety I think because no matter how hard you try I don’t think you can get rid of it completely)
The point I'm makin is the mind is a powerful place
And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way
It's pretty cool right? Yeah, but it's not always safe
Just hang with me this will only take a moment okay
Just think about it for a second if you look at your face
Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great
You'll never be great
Not because you're not but the hate
Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith
(Whoo)
I been developin'
Take a look at the benefits
Nothin to meddle with
I could never be delicate
Am I even relevant
That depends how you measure it
Take a measurement
Then bag it up and give me the evidence
Pretty evident
Dependable
Can never be tentative
I'm a gentleman
Depending on if I think your genuine
Pretty elegant
But not afraid to tell you to get a grip
Proper etiquette
I keep it to myself when I celebrate
It's that time again
Better grab your balloons and invite your friends
Seatbelts back on yeah strap 'em in
Look at me everybody I'm smilin' big
On a road right now that I can't predict
Tell me tone that down, but I can't resist
Y'all know that sound better raise your fist
The search begins
(I'm back so enjoy the trip I’m pretty sure he took some sort of break from music and this song marked the first song in the NF album the search)
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Tommee Profitt / Nate Feuerstein
The Search lyrics © Capitol Cmg Paragon, Capitol Cmg Genesis, Tommee Profitt Songs, Nf Real Publishing
Life of NF (not career his real life)
Parents divorced and Mom got custody
Was abused by Mom’s boyfriend so Dad got custody
Mom died from overdose which inspired him to write the song “How could you leave us” in her memory.
In 2015 NF dropped his first studio album “mansion”.
And he released his most current album “The Search” in 2019.
Here is an article on the nature of the song the Search.
Sources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NF_(rapper)
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